good nuff for music bizz? promotion of BOI BOSS

if can do, i was hopin ta get sum feedback on wefa or not anyone finks am good nuff wif my bars(rymes) for tha music bizz?

jus giv yu a quikie ta get it started off:

DA START OV MA STORY
MA LIFES BIN NORMAL, FAR FROM GORY
NEFA HAD MUCH FAITH IN GODS GLORY
SHOTTED NARKOTICS, ABUSED ANTIBIOTIKS
NEFA HAVE RESPECTID LIFE
BOI BOSS IS THA KIND TO JUGGLE WIFA KNIFE
REASON BE, A SIMPLY DNT GIVA SHIT
A'LL ROCK HARDA DAN I CUD EVA BE HIT
SEE ME YE IMA REAL ROCK'N ROLLA
BIN BOO'D YE BUT IM STILL ROCK N ROLLA
WANA GET HYP I DNT DRINK COCA COLA
COMPARE IT TO MA ROCKS, DEY'L HIT YU SO HARD YU'L CUM UP IN CHIKEN POX
BIN TA PRIVATE SCOOL ALL OV MA YEARS
FINISHIN SOON GRADUATIN NEARS
WANOV MA BIGIST FEARS
GUNA BE HARDA DAN CRISTIANO RONALDO HOLDIN BAK HIS TEARS
BUT I WORK WIF TRUBLE
WALK STRATE DNT STUMBLE
WEN AM WINNIN A BATTLE I MAKE SURE NOT TA MUMBLE
DNT CHAT, YOR IN MA EMPIRE BITCH AN IN MY EMPIRE YU'L CRUMBLE
CHEW YU UP, SPIT YU OUT LYKA LIKLE GUMBAL
I AINT BIG HEADED, SO MA HEAD AINT TO BIG FORA CROWN
AFTA A DUN MA SPITTIN YU WONT RETALIATE JUST FROWN
CUS NOW YU LUKIN LYKA CLOWN
THERFORE I BIN TO TOWN
MY LIFES SAYIN I AINT CHANGIN IM STAYIN AN NOT RE-ARRANGIN
STAYIN JUST LYK I AM
SAYIN LIV FAST DY YUNG
TRY MA ROCKS? YU'L WISH YU NEFA TRIED NON
A GOT AN AMOUNT LYK TEN TON
IF I WANT YU DED, MATE ITS GARANTEED DON
SO I WAS BORN AN RAIZED IN UK
BUT I MOVED REFREAINED TO SETTLE AN STAY
I MOVED NAO AN MISS IT MOR AN MOR EACH DAY
LIV ONA ISLAND IN THA MEDITERANEAN SEA
AT FIRST IT BOTHERD ME,
I GOT V.E.X.E.D
VEXED MEANIN PIST!
MOVIN HOME WAS ON TOP OV MA LIST
BUT I SETTLED IN NOW, JUST BOUT TO LEAVE
GOIN HOME TO PUL A TRICK OUT MY SLEAVE
I KNO A'L MAKE IT BIG, I GOT FAITH AN YU BELIEVE
AM TALL AN SKINNY, NO PART IS MINI
BROWN HAIR BROWN EYES, TANNED SKIN
YOR LOOSIN? TUFF AM GUNA WIN
I MAKE AN ENTRANCE I DNT SNEAK TO MY PEAK
AN ITS RARE LYK A FREAK
I OWN NEXT MAN SHAG NXT GYEL EVERY WEEK
IM DA ONE RECORD LABELS SEEK
AS YU CAN TELL AM HONEST ONLI TLK TRU
AN AM HONESTLY SAYIN AM MUCH BETA DAN YU!!!





please leave comments ****
thanks

PLEASE REPLY!

I'm not really an expert on lyrics, but a bit of advice when posting - paragraphs in ALL CAPS are harder to read than lower case because caps are all the same size, caps only stand out if you use them occasionally

fanks for tha advice, a'l memba dat
opefully a'l get sum comments on ppl dat kno bout lyrics an rymes an dat



thank doe ye

Honestly- No.
Nothing personal, just my opinion.

I ain't got a fuckin' clue love! Would of thought that you would need more than just bein' able to write though, (in English of course). Maybe a little less of the slaggin' people off and killin' 'em? All that's a bit borin' now, too much of it about, it ain't about how big your cock is, it's about weather you can use it. Why not try a positive vibe?

I ain't havin' pop, I'm just sick of MC's promoting that shit maybe I'm gettin' old but wouldn't it be more original to break away from that and gabble on about somethin' a bit more inspiring?

I'm with Drexyl on this-
Look just a bit deeper son, maybe you'll find something profound.

Junga and Drexyl has hit on the head kid!! But don't give up the dream just come with a more positive vibe. These dayz that's what people are looking for!!

Ye ye … it’s me … you know… me….Lil mama… that female from the other day. . .Remember when you was up on the chatty tryin to play? Yo that shit was fun. . . I hope I didn’t leave you feelin’ done. Me n my girl Sindeez got dope rhymes yo. It was nuthin but fun.

Okay tho..., Im really not a rapper but just as a caper I thought I would show you what comes freely from my mind. . . something so pure its truly divine. Im playing dude. .. I don’t rap, but I know your serious so I’ll cut the crap.

Yo… anyone can put words together n create a rhyme but only sick muth@fuckas come with a straight grime.
Aye tho … on the really…. No disrespect. Your motivation is there but the context of ye rhymes was a wreck.

Listen sweetie … the game is some hard shit. You gotta be original and bust your opponents with some tricks. Peeps come across talking about some dope game shit. Come to find out there’s nuthin thug about em…n everything’s ligit.

Yo, do you feel what Im saying? You can talk about your life and all the crap you’ve been thru but when spiting that shit don’t be playing .. you gotta come a new. Not just raping about how tight you can roll a joint. Or about how hard you are… whats really the point?

Come on BoiBoss, look a lil deeper and find what moves you. If you’re really a boss you can’t let yourself get tossed. When dropping words in front of people forget about your fears. Bring it from tha heart… n fuck it if you let out a tear!

Come now... Your audience is waiting. . . . Quickly now coz the music is fading. Big ups to you… No more ands, ifs, or mabeys ... coming straight from tha heart of a lovely lady, ~Lil mama.

Oh SNAP!!!
Mama's got an ill flow~

Hot damn, biggups you sick little chick!

Ha Ha Ha. Thats some wkd lines there Lil Mama. Kinda reminds me of the Eminem battle from 8 mile.

Big up yoself

fu sik rymes der b...dyu hav msn??

my music never fades i stay in tha lite outov all shades
just startin off, my flites onli departin
so here i go on dis voyage forgetin ma worries an downsides
cus lyf goes on and on besides..
lil mamma givin me the reason to futher my abilities
even tho am not one surounded by facilities
im goin liv strive off ma capabilities
"dont write in caps" advised
trust every last word sed as bin revised
takin all yor help, thanks by tha way
soon a'l cum home get recordin in UK

i read an take in wots bin sed, im guna start a nu era a new style for dat
not usin old skool hatin wordslyk baseball bat
mor lyk sh broke ma heart nao ma lifelines gon flat

dis is tha boi boss reserection,comin home LARGE
to sho ye i AM tha boss wont get tossed cus ye I AM IN CHARGE
higher dan military ranks, so fanx but dnt call me sarge
da names boi boss dnt get it rong
dnt lyk little boss or boss man dats just long
i dnt rap, i spit, an smoke on my bong
am sure ders nufin beta dan lil mama in her thong

am fxckn boilin here, or maybe am just feelin yor fear
am i scarin yu, as legendary status i near
i am a new generation, me an my crew we a new federation
not federal lyk F.B.I
cus am hatin feds til i dy, i speek tru nota ly
therfore wifout befor a say by

giva shout out to lil mama
da individual unique panorama!

MUCH BETTER!!!

I gotta hand it to ya Boss, biggups on taking the feedback in a positive way! Definitely a sign of personal maturity.
You keep doin your thing, and keep counsel with positive, like minded folks that can encourage your ambitions.

Ez

lil mamma keep replyin
keepin me ere waitin am simply dyin


dis tings fun, it aint a violent battle to be wun
its a frendly fing, a time passin fing
if bored, yu can be asured..bored wil be no mor
on dis forum ar lyrics constantly poor
lets make a remix bangin base for tha dance floor..
BoiBoss featuring lil mamma
ye we guna start sum drama
an boi wen yu here her i kno yu guna wana
but listen ye
a'll start sumfin small, guna end up massive
wen yu read dese words yor guna end up passive
passive rymin, chek 1 2 3 4 to tha tymin
ye i am conspirin to make big an famous
not tha kid dats guna be shameluss
jus wifa good swag marry a buff gyel nota slag

BoiBoss AKA KingBritton from tha UK
he aint no religious, but by god listen to him cus he's well prestigious
i rock worlds lyk bliss
mate jus listen to dis
its mor satifying dan a 1 hour kiss

i luff to rave lyk i am a savior
BOIBOSS nefa bin tha kido wif good behavior
so ye i do it lyk dis, an i do it lyk dat
sum elders may fink, am a litle nagin prat
but just listen to me cus my words cum out free
he's tha KING tha one name startin wif B
who other dan THE BoiBoss, ye every nyt i toss
dnt mind dissin my self, cus i kinda to it wif stelth
am tall an skinny, gota dark tan
to all shittie record labels i made my own ban
so ye remember...dis is non other dan BoiBoss
not one too cross
bigup helpers an -lil mama tha luvly lady female version ov slim shady

Awwwww! Shiiiiiiiit! Awwww! Shiiiiiiiiit!

Boi Boss coming Large and in Charge! For realz!

Yo…Yo …Yo…. Heeeeeeere we go….

Your reply was something different not like that first post that had me ichin. Irriatin my skin like a mouth full of gin! Yo that was a huge improvement. You were straight grooving! You were direct in the effect and your words were just moving.

Like my boy Junga stated … keep on keeping on … and take that feedback in a positive way. I’m tellin you BoiBoss you’ll feel much better, especially now that you’ve learned to play.

Hey hey tho… like I said no disrespect. You know this all in fun, I’m not trying to get you checked. Everybody’s got their own style and if their eyes don’t see that then they’re in some serious denial. Yo.. this is my apology ..see …I may have come across too strong…I may have come across to mean. Whatever the case my opinion was all I was trying to convene.

Yo Im digging that line you spit where you talked about you choking on your bong. . and there being nuthin better than lil mama in er thong! Hahahah that shit had me laughing see that is just what I mean. You know how to do it. You know how to spit. Before you know it youngin… chicks be showing you their clit. Shiiiiiiiiitttttt …. It’s just me playing cuz …. You know what I mean. BoiBoss turned inside out coming fresh; it’s nothing that’s been foreseen!

Aiiiight now winding this one off. Don’t hit that blunt like a square yo…. I don’t wanna hear you cough! Hit it like a champ n hold that shit in… count to ten and then release because were doing it again.

Lil mama’s dropped some knowledge for you. Big ups n mad respect. Now now … it’s Lil mama signing off... Boi Boss coming correct!

Peace ~ Lil Mama
MSN: Ayelilmama@gmail.com