!You are not logged in. You can sign in below or register for an account here. By registering, you can post in the forums, chatroom and access downloads.
!You have CSS styling disabled, to view the website properly you will need to enable this.
       
» Listen here » [128k MP3] [48k MP3] [24k MP3]
  [64k AAC+] [32k AAC+]  

» Now playing »   Loading...

Username:   Password:   Remember me? 
Register here for free Forgotten your password? click here
Home >> Forum >> Chill Out >> Are we all stupid??

Are we all stupid??

Reply to topic
Jonni - Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:42 am
Jonni

Regular Visitor
Posts: 39 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

Why the sun lightens our hair,
But darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
With their mouth closed?

Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why you have to click on "Start"
To stop Windows 98?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?

Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a
"new & improved" flavour?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when
They are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro,
Is Congress the opposite of progress?

Why they call the airport "the terminal"
If flying is so safe?


AND...

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how???)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Tesco Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought????...)


On packaging for an ironing board:
"Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boots Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because???)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

On a Swedish Chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

please add any other forms of human stupiditty you have encountered


kay - Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:50 pm
kay

UK Bass Addict
Posts: 1025 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

Jonni wrote:

Why women can't put on mascara
With their mouth closed?


lmaoooooo i dont know Laughing

_________________
(Oh you think im a stuck up bitch?,well join the club you slutty whore)

http://www.myspace.com/nortykay
MSN: ez-ladykay@hotmail.co.uk
EMAIL: ladykay@midnightresistance.net


SEXY BEX - Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:04 am
SEXY BEX

Long Time Listener
Posts: 94 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

i do - i always wondered so i did an experiment

by opening your mouth you stretch your face down and make it easier to apply the mascara without it goin all over your face Wink


kay - Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:07 am
kay

UK Bass Addict
Posts: 1025 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

Yeah but u gta admit we got pretty stoopid doing that Laughing

_________________
(Oh you think im a stuck up bitch?,well join the club you slutty whore)

http://www.myspace.com/nortykay
MSN: ez-ladykay@hotmail.co.uk
EMAIL: ladykay@midnightresistance.net


Nad - Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:49 am
Nad

UK Bass Addict
Posts: 641 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

Jonni wrote:
Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a
"new & improved" flavour?

Laughing yes why is this and can me get a job in this field bet the payes good.

_________________
StRaNgE tHiNgS hApPeN @
nIGhT!


kay - Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:58 am
kay

UK Bass Addict
Posts: 1025 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

lmaoooo Laughing Laughing

_________________
(Oh you think im a stuck up bitch?,well join the club you slutty whore)

http://www.myspace.com/nortykay
MSN: ez-ladykay@hotmail.co.uk
EMAIL: ladykay@midnightresistance.net


Miss April - Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:50 pm
Miss April

Regular Visitor
Posts: 33 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

i dont open ma mouth :S


bexie you just have to tilt ya head back...

being a trained (but not qualified) make-up artist i know this haha!!


but that was a giggle neway Smile


adgedub - Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:48 am
adgedub

UK Bass Family
Posts: 476 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

SEXY BEX wrote:
i do - i always wondered so i did an experiment

by opening your mouth you stretch your face down and make it easier to apply the mascara without it goin all over your face Wink


still not as good as the splinter in the finger experiment

_________________

GRID RECORDINGS - ADMIN / PROMOTION
V2E RECORDINGS - CO-MANAGER... boot!


minxy - Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:38 pm
minxy

UK Bass Addict
Posts: 739 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

On a Swedish Chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) .................... Shocked Confused Shocked ayyyyyyyyyyyy ??!!!



_________________
*(''·.¸(''·.¸*¤*¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
»~:¤.·º'·.M I N X Y.·´º·.¤:~«
*(¸.·'´(¸.·' ´*¤*''·.¸)''·.¸) *

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.ShOwIn' LoVe!!!!


kay - Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:55 pm
kay

UK Bass Addict
Posts: 1025 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

Shocked

_________________
(Oh you think im a stuck up bitch?,well join the club you slutty whore)

http://www.myspace.com/nortykay
MSN: ez-ladykay@hotmail.co.uk
EMAIL: ladykay@midnightresistance.net


mtbmatty - Tue Mar 06, 2007 3:18 pm
mtbmatty

UK Bass Addict
Posts: 254 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

very good bit of copy an paste


LyricZ - Wed Mar 07, 2007 9:52 am
LyricZ

UK Bass Addict
Posts: 641 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

Laughing Laughing that had me in giggles... i had also noticed the 'may contain nuts' sign on packets o nuts n i fought i fuckin ope so Very Happy wasnt after buying a bag o air Confused and Laughing i open my mouth while puttin on mascara it does look amusin but bex is rite i simply poke my self in the eye if i try n close it? Shocked

_________________
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.


SEXY BEX - Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:03 am
SEXY BEX

Long Time Listener
Posts: 94 Drum n bass radio

Reply with quote        

adgedub wrote:


still not as good as the splinter in the finger experiment



HAHAHA Laughing

...that was a fukkin good experiment adge!!


Reply to topic

View previous topic


View next topic
Home >> Forum >> Chill Out >> Are we all stupid??

Permissions


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

© UK Bass Radio 2008